What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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24

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why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

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Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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whats yellow? lots of things.

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Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

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The WNBA

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Why did the girl have twins she was raped

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

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what do you call jerry sandusky with a kid in a shower jerry sandusky

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A possesed goat: "moo"

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Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

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Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

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Black People

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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