Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A nig-ger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nig-gers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nig-ger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nig-ger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nig-ger, go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nig-ger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nig-ger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nig-gers, smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did the cerial killer get for christmas an electric chair

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If a little boy teleported to mars how fast would he get there? Little boys are incapable of breaking down their molecular structure in order to send their individual particles faster than the speed of light in any given direction. Thus this question is illogical and can not be answered.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

thumb_up thumb_down -22

* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

69

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Adele walks into the stables

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q.Anti-jokes are funny? A.Depends on your opinion

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"Is the Pope a Catholic?" Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why do black poeple like fryed chicken? Becuase it greases there insides just like there outsides.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A Muslim walked into a bar....nothing happened

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops