Why did little Timmy start crying? He was shot.

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Why did the kid fall off his swing? Because his mum threw a fridge at him.

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

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Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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What is worse than standing on a plug? finding out your family have all been killen in a horrible car crash and your neighbours daughter who happens to be your friend has cancer.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

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How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

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How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

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What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

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How do u stop sky from being gay. You don't

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how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

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What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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