What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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whats worse then being a black kid with out a father? is not that bad it happens all the time

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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irish wristwatch JLR

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What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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Women's rights.

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

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Nock Nock It's open.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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