What did the black kid get for his birthday?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was Sally crying because a flock Of seagulls just took a shit in her head

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: She had no arms... Q: Knock Knock! Q: Who's there? A: NOT SARA! --- Q: Okay... What song does Sara sing to her arms? A: Somebody That I Used To Know... --- Now. If you're happy and you know it clap your... nevermind O_O

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do u call a black astronaut? An astronaut, you racist prick

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I'm trying to see from Adam Fantuzzi's point of view but i cant stick my head that far up my arse Daniel

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There's a car about to hit me.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the creepy man across the block.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar. I forgot the rest of the story but the punchline goes something something something something your mom is wwhore.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I was Born ready I was born naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant? While the term "Mexican" encompasses a wide range of individuals and individual predilections, the most common cibarious preference would likely be a food that is reminiscent of his or her homeland; that is, what we refer to as Mexican food. An authentic nearby joint sporting such provisions would likely be the most common preference, but, as this description can only be traced on the local scale, a specific restaurant that covers a wider range of locations would be a more appropriate answer. Among the top choices are Taco Time and Taco Del Mar.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops