What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

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Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

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You mom is so fat she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

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Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

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You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

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Come on, I am trying to cheer you up a bit, honestly how high?

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a rapist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops