Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

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How do u know a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls out a tampon it has no cotton on it.

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

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How do you kill a Jew? The same way you kill any person. It could be gunshot, strangulation, hanging, poison etc. They are the same as every other human being, so you would kill them just like any other human being.

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Yo momma is so fat that her cholesterol level is above 240 mg/dL and should highly consider a vegan diet if she wishes to improve.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater!

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

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An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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Hey, what’s your problem? I’m a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works in a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam. a.w. j.p.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? roger rabbit while hilarious, was an idiot and framed himself....mind F***.

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What happend to the boy with no family? he died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

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What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

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I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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