A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

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?J?o?k?e?

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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why did the blind man crash his car? he had down syndrome.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

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Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

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Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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Whatd the boner say to the limp dick get your head up kid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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