What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih tzu? A new breed of dog.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to make a sandwich because she is hungry and she likes sandwiches.

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When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

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The mailman saw little Johnny sitting on the side of the street with an old coffee can Mailman: What do you have in that can there? Johnny: dog shit Mailman: what the fuck

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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DON"T READ THIS!

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your mom is like a lowling ball, she likes to be fingered then thrown back into the gutter

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Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

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How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

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Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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Hi

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

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Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

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What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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