joke

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I killed someone today. :D

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I dont know if you know this but i have a penis

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

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what do you call anybody eating at mcdohnalds? hungry, diabetic people

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Every seat wsa taken, and the back was her only option

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

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I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

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poop

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

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jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Hit by a bus Why did the bus driver drop his coffee? He hit the boy

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

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elen degeneres is straight....

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you know whats funny the letter Q

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What is black and white and red all over? a nun that got raped.

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Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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