A man walked into a bar. It hurt.

What is the most important thing to have during a zombie apocalypse? Oxygen.

"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

THIS IS an anti-joke.

"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

Jacob Edwards has friends

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? yea, neither has he.

7

Why did the blond put a condom on her hear? So, she would not get hearing ads.

What happened when the teacher told the class to be quite? The class was quite.

Man goes fishing.... Catches Fish.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

Justin Bieber is a good singer.

How much Cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? A lot!

Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

yolo mother f-uckaaaa

What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

Billy Cundiff.

why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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