A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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