Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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Jordan is pregant

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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