Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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i committed murder

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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hi

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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What is cowboy say

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops