how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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