Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

thumb_up thumb_down -33

person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worse than being raped? Not a whole lot-- rape is a very serious mental and emotional strain that will stick with a person for the remainder of their life.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

whats worse than finding ten dead babies in one recycling bin finding ten dead babies in one trashcan ---sticksack

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops