Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yeah I am sure nobody understood that one... Just be careful in the future. Besides you are supposed to link your "Moral" to the Solvemedia, I suggest you do not post, until you understand things further, I only suggest, but you know that if you become exposed or a threat towards outstanding forces, you become a threat to us all, to our and your fundation, this will not be tolerated unless your desire is to destroy your on fundation, if so, you risk that the desire of the entire fundation, is to destroy you, something which I of course will allow, as I am the leader, not the boss, I do not create nor enforce rules, only guidelines. Moral the friendly neighborhood R*pist: "being new, is no excuse to risk exposing shadows to the light"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why am I writing this...im bored

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between Christians and Jews? The Holocaust. The Holocaust is the difference.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Please ignore this statement.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

thumb_up thumb_down -14

haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops