the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

What is the diffrence between a jew and a mexican One is a religous practice and the other is a racial diversity

In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

Why did the pony say neigh? That`s all he can say

a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

What is the difference between a Nigga and a bucket of shit? ....The bucket.

a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

Why did the vagina smell so bad? Because it had yeast infection.

Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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