Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

What is a black man's favorite food? It differs from person to person.

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and their friend Satan asked if they heard about Jesus, and they said No.

what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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