Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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How do you kill a black person? Make them skydive 10,000 feet in the air without a parachute

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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WHAT THE BABIES?!

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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