Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops