HEY YOU! TISSUE!

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

Wait! hundred billions!

The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

Roses are red Im adopted

I will create more jobs for americans

You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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