what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a man walked into a bar.the bar was metal and he cracked his skull

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Predators face looks like what? Pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Evan Ramsey hahaha go CAD

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops