Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops