How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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Who wants water? I do.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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