What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +5

We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

thumb_up thumb_down +5

In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +5

-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +5

h

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops