Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

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What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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What do you call a black man who works in a ice-cream truck? A Ice-Creem Man

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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