A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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