What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What's one plus one? two.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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sfdg

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

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Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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