What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

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"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

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How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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What did the rabbit buy the Jewish duck for Hanukkah? Nothing, animals don't celebrate holidays.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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