why did reed eat a fish? He had cancer of the testicles

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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what type of cat has green feathers? a green-feathered cat.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

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Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

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YOLO You only like Oreos

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. tom halls mum

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chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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