What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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whats worse than a kane nothing

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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knock knock? come in

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar. They were all lawyers out on lunch break and happened to walk into the same building. They laughed about the coincidence over the a drink

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How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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