Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I used to know what alzheimers was

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Please don't shoot me

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

UN

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +13

q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops