What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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sky silverstein

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops