Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

five gay guys stand in a line is it a straight line

thumb_up thumb_down -17

a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is it hard to see a black man in the night? Because its dark out, and he's BLACK.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops