If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

Q /why do people eat dinner? A/ because their hungry

how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

A whole 'nother.

"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

What does the fox say? "It's called a hustle, sweetheart."

A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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