what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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A man walks into a Bar, and he gets kicked out because its an animal only bar no people allowed

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Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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A man walks into a bar...so what? People do it all the time.

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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