A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

Why did the man think he was hungry? Answer: Because his brain told that he needed to Eat or he was going to be really hungry. Made by eli

Face...the other white meat!

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

Why was the black family eating at K.F.C? The food there is really good and they had a discount on the family bucket.

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

9/11 my birthday

Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

A hill billy went fishing

What do porn stars do after they retire? No clue but some idiot made a movie about it.

Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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