Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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knock knock? come in

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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