A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

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What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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Have you heard of that new jewish car? No, have you? No.

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Why did he? NO I LOST THE CHICKEN Later: Knock knock Who's there The chicken

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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Q: What did the police officer do when he saw another man getting assaulted. A: Went into a corner and started fapping to it.

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A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

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Justin beiber..

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So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

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What did the follower of Neronism say to the follower of Christianity? Nothing, Neronism doesn't exist. -KyuremCult

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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first

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops