Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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identical jokes get different votes.

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A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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What did Pablo experience during his first day in private school? the atmosphere of a private school

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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I would piss if alex berry had aids n died

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Your mom is so old she died

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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