What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

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What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Knock Knock Whos there? John John Who Tic Tic BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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did u ever hear a bird joke "no" hawkword

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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