A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it was tree

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how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

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Why was the pig squealing? Because all four of its legs were tied together and it was about to have it's head chopped off so the meat could be processed for people to enjoy.

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

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What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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