Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What do you call a really bad band? Nickelback.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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How do you make a baby fly? Hit it's mother in the stomach.

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What's Big and Round? My Testicular Cancer

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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How do you get birds to land in your back yard? With a gun.

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Why did the blind man itch his knee? He has cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

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Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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