What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

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Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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The man was driving down the road at an opropriat speed and got t-boned. The women in the other car got out and tried to help the man but the man was already out of the car and call 911

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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