I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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Please ignore this statement.

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Knock, knock. After a couple minutes of waiting the man knows that no one is home and leaves.

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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What's sad about 2 black men driving off a cliff? They were my friends.....

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Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

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flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

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What is the difference between a baby and a tree? Its not illegal to hit one with an axe

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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Bob: "Did you eat my sandwich?" Alex: "I am your sandwich."

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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