I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

What's worse than an hours detention? Gettind raped by a horse anally.

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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