What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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