Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

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How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

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What do you call a camel with three humps? A deformed bactrian

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2 pilots rowed a boat across the desert. How long did it take to reach the moon? Answer: Purple because chickens don't use magic.

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Why did the car fall of the cliff? The dude driving the car was driving recklessly.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

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What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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