What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Massie is a fatass

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Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

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Kade was sad. He had finally got a girlfriend when he realized he actually liked men.

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A woman walks into a bar and asks for a duck. The bartender is confused, assumes the women has some sort of mental problem, and treats her nicely, as his sister suffers from Down's Syndrome.

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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What do you get when you cross Skyrim and Call of Duty? A video game that has similarities to Skyrim and Call of Duty.

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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Where's Wally? In a children's book.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

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Two black men and a latino board a plane together. They are members of the Marshall High School football team, and all die in the subsequent crash.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops